Control
by birdsofpreyfic
Summary: Dinah's loss of control puts Helena's life in danger


**CONTROL**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of Birds of Prey. They are owned by DC Comics and their respective creators. No copyright infringement is intended.

F-U to the WB for canceling this great show!

** Author's note: This story sprouted from a request from one of my readers. There may or may not be a sequel, I'm unsure at this time. The ending is left open for anyone's interpretation in case there isn't a sequel.

* * *

I don't know how many times Barbara told me this 'job' wasn't going to be easy. Today was no exception.

I'm sitting here with blood all over me and a knot in my stomach that's about the size of a softball. She's lying there so still I sometimes think she's dead. She came pretty damn close tonight. 

I curse myself out mentally because it was all my fault. They always told me to learn to control my powers. Because I didn't listen it almost cost her her life.

As I sit down next to her, taking her hand into mine, I start to cry. I thought I was all cried out but I guess I'm not. 

"I'm so sorry, Helena. I didn't mean to hurt you." I kiss the back of her hand softly and hope that she'll wake up and tell me that she's okay but it doesn't happen. She's still lying there, her clothes are torn from where Barbara had cut them away. Dried blood is all over her. She's a mess.

The night replays in my mind over and over and each time I wish I could have done things differently...

It started out as a quiet night. Helena took me out on her sweep and even showed me some cool hiding places. I don't have the ability to jump from rooftop to rooftop like she does, it's an ability I envy and really wish I had, so we took the low road and stayed at ground level.

"So do you think Barbara is enjoying her night out with Wade?" I asked as we walked along an alley.

"Since we haven't heard from her all night I'd say that she's more than enjoying herself," Helena replied with a grin. "Come on, let's go check on Jack over at Cover To Cover. He's been having some trouble lately with some non-metas."

We headed over to the bookstore and found Jack closing up for the night. 

"Helena, it's nice to see you again. And Dinah, good to see you as well."

"Thanks, Jack. Everything okay tonight?" Helena asked him.

"Yeah, it's been quiet for the past few nights."

I looked around the shop and wondered how anyone could keep track of so many books. There had to be millions of them and they were in just about every square inch of the shop.

"I took your advice and got myself some protection," Jack said as he reached behind the counter and pulled out a duffel bag and set it on the counter. He unzipped the bag and pulled out a set of shiny, stainless steel knives and a .45 and put them on the counter. "Nice, huh?"

"Um, yeah. But I think my advice on getting protection was more in terms of a Doberman or a Pitbull." Helena looked at me and all I could do was shrug.

A man walked into the store and we all turned to look.

"Excuse me, sir, we're closed for the night. You're welcome to come back in t..." Jack stopped talking when he saw that the man had a gun tucked in the waistband of his pants.

"Look, we don't want any trouble," Helena said to the man but the man didn't budge.

"Don't worry, my beef isn't with you it's with you," he said as he turned and looked directly at me.

I could feel my face go pale and my knees start to shake a little. "Me?"

"You're that bitch's daughter," he said as he turned to face me, walking slowly towards me.

"Excuse me," I said, totally offended by his comment.

"Look, buddy, I don't know who you are but you better get the hell out of here right now," Helena said as she started walking towards him.

He snapped his head around in her direction and then waved his hand. He generated a huge gust of wind and knocked her clear across the room.

"Huntress!" I yelped as I watched her crash hard against the front counter, cracking the glass.

"Your mother owes me and I've come to collect," the man said to me as he grabbed me by the hair and stared into my eyes. "You know, it's too bad I wasn't the one that got to kill her. I really would have enjoyed that."

I could feel the anger boiling up inside me as I looked into his eyes. Helena got back up and was coming towards me, ready to fight him, when all of a sudden I heard Jack yelling to Helena to look out. The next thing I knew Helena was lying on the floor with three knives stuck in her. My telekinesis must have hurled the knives in her direction but she definitely wasn't my intended target.

"Huntress!" I screamed. But before I could tend to her the man was tightening his grip on my hair and pulling the gun from his waistband. I closed my eyes and waited to feel the bullet enter my body. I heard a loud bang and then another but I didn't feel any pain. In fact, I felt the man let go of me and then I opened my eyes, just in time to watch him slump to the floor. Blood poured from a bullet wound in the side of his head. I looked over to my left and saw Jack holding his gun, smoke still rising from the barrel. He looked as shocked as I did and then he fainted onto the floor behind the counter.

I quickly turned my attention to Helena. One of the knives was lodged in her ribcage and the other knives were stuck in her shoulder and her thigh. I dropped to my knees beside her and began sobbing like a baby. "I'm so sorry!" She didn't answer me which made me feel even worse. I reached over towards the knife in her side and was about to pull it out when she stopped me.

"Don't! L-leave it. L-leave them all," she mumbled.

"What? Are you crazy?"

"If you...if you take them out they're..." Helena grunted in pain and it scared me, "they're gonna bleed even more or cause more damage."

I stroked her hair and watched as her eyes began to roll. "Don't you leave me, Helena. You hear me! Stay with me!" I reached into my jacket and pulled out the special pager that Barbara had given me in case of an emergency. I pressed the button several times and waited for a response.

"Dinah?" Barbara said over my comm, her voice had a hint of panic to it.

"Barbara, meet me down at Cover To Cover. Helena's hurt bad. It's all my fault! I didn't mean it!" I know I sounded like a blubbering idiot but I felt like one.

"Whoa, slow down, what happened?"

"Just get here! Hurry!" I screamed at her. Helena had passed out, at least I had hoped that's all she did. I reached over and touched her neck, relieved to find a steady pulse. I knew she was strong and that she'd been hurt before and come through okay, but just seeing her lying there with these knives sticking out of her made my stomach lurch.

Jack finally came to and came over to check on Helena. "Jesus, is she okay?"

"I don't know," I sobbed. "Barbara's on her way." I held onto Helena's hand for dear life. Her once warm skin was now turning cold. 

Barbara soon arrived and Jack helped me get Helena into the car. I think Barbara was driving at least a hundred miles an hour because we got to the clock tower in a matter of minutes.

We dragged Helena into the loft as gently as humanly possible. Barbara went over to the kitchen table and with a swipe of her hand she cleared everything off so that I could set Helena down.

Helena moaned in pain and it tore me apart each time.

Barbara went right to work, inspecting the wounds and figuring out how deep they were. "How did this happen? Who did this?"

"I-I did," I said quietly. So quiet I almost didn't hear myself say it.

"What?"

"I did it. My telekinesis..."

"Dammit, Dinah! I've told you hundreds of times that you have to focus and learn to control it."

"I'm sorry," I said just as quietly as the words I'd muttered before.

Barbara continued to inspect Helena's wounds and kept shaking her head. "These are in pretty deep. I'm gonna have to do a scan. Get the portable in the drawer next to the file cabinet."

I ran as fast as I could and retrieved the scanner. Barbara snatched it out of my hand and began running it over her wounds. When she was finished she zoomed to her computer and hooked it up. After typing a series of codes x-ray images appeared on the screen. Barbara sighed heavily.

"What? What is it?" I felt myself begin to hold my breath as I waited for her answer.

"The knife just missed her lung about a half an inch. She's very lucky, and so are you," she said as she sped past me and went back to tending to Helena. "Grab some towels from the linen closet, quickly."

I ran off, wiping tears from my eyes. I grabbed a fistful of clean towels and rushed back to Barbara.

"I'm gonna get this one out first," she said as she motioned to the knife sticking out of Helena's side. "When I get it out, cover the wound with the towel and press hard to stop the bleeding."

I swallowed hard and thought for sure my heart was going to burst through my chest as I watched Barbara pull the knife out slowly. As soon as the tip came out I placed a towel over the wound and pressed down. Helena moaned in pain and her hands grabbed mine. "It's okay, Helena," I tried to assure her. Damn she was strong. "You're gonna be fine. Just stay still." The pained look on her face made my heart crumble. 

Barbara went to work on the knife in Helena's thigh, removing it slowly and then tying a towel tightly around the wound to stop the bleeding. Helena cried out and squeezed my hand. I think this was the first time I've actually seen her shed a tear. She's tough as nails but seeing her cry made me realize just how much pain she was in. It made me sick to my stomach.

Barbara got the last knife out of Helena's shoulder and had me hold another towel to that wound while she went to get more supplies. Helena drifted in and out of consciousness and muttered various words that I couldn't make out. But each time she said my name it sent shivers down my spine. I wanted to hold her in my arms and never let go, just to let her know how sorry I was and that I never meant for this to happen, not to mention that it wouldn't happen ever again.

When Barbara returned she had a lap full of various things to clean the wounds with. She handed me a bottle of antiseptic, "Pour this on those wounds."

I took the bottle from her, unscrewing the cap as quickly as possible. Then I poured the solution on the wound in her shoulder and in her side. More moans of pain escaped from her and caused her to open her eyes once again. Her eyelids struggled to stay open and her eyes rolled. "Knock it off," she mumbled. "That shit hurts." I laughed a little and so did Barbara.

"Helena, try and relax. You're gonna be fine. Just hang on a little longer and we'll be all set." Barbara worked as quickly as possible, using a special laser pen to seal the wounds.

Helena closed her eyes and reached for my hand, squeezing tightly. I squeezed back and it seemed to calm her.

After Barbara was finished, we got Helena to bed. She was still a bloody mess, but getting her completely cleaned up and changed would have to wait until later.

So this is where I've been sitting for the past few hours, right by her side. I touch her now and then to make sure she's not running a fever or cold as ice. With her hand in mine I watch her sleep her pain away.

Hours pass and I hear her whimper and grimace as she awakens, the pain she's in is evident. 

"Helena. Are you okay?"

She looks down at herself, noting all of the blood and bandages. "Ugh, I feel like shit," she says as she rests her head back on the pillow.

I start to cry.

"What's the matter?"

"I almost killed you," I sob.

Helena laughed a little and smirked, "It was an accident, it's..."

"Don't blow it off like it's no big deal! I didn't listen to what you and Barbara tried to tell me about controlling my powers and look what happened."

"Dinah, you..."

"I feel as if I stabbed you with my own two hands."

"Dinah..."

"I don't think I can be around you and Barbara anymore. I'm too much of a risk to you both." I got up from my chair and went to wipe my tears on my sleeve when I noticed the blood. "Look!" I said to her, "I'm covered in blood. YOUR blood. It should NEVER have happened!"

"Dinah, stop it." Helena grunted in pain as she sat up.

"I'm sorry, Helena." I leaned in towards her and kissed her on the cheek and then went to turn around but she grabbed me by the wrist. I turned in time to see her grimace in pain from her movements.

"You're not going anywhere," she said through clenched teeth. "We can work on controlling your powers together. I had to learn. Let me help you."

"I can't!"

"Why!"

"I don't want to risk hurting you."

"You're not going to," she insisted. Helena breathed heavily as a wave of pain shot through her.

I knelt down beside her and put my hands over hers. "You need to rest. Please." I helped her lie back down and wiped the hair away from her eyes.

"Promise me you're not going to leave."

"Helena..."

"Promise me!"

"What's going on in here?!?" Barbara asked as she flew into the room.

"Dinah said she's taking off."

I didn't know what to say to Barbara, I just hung my head.

"Dinah, you're not going anywhere."

"But I almost killed her, Barbara. Another half an inch over and I would have punctured your lung, Helena. Then what? Would that have been enough for you two to realize I'm a liability?"

"Dinah, please!" Helena spat.

"Look, I am disappointed in you, there's no denying that. But I'm not giving up on you. If you leave here then you'll never learn to control your powers. God only knows what else could happen then. But if you stay we can help you if you'd just let us!" Barbara rubbed her forehead and sighed.

The next thing I knew I had my arms wrapped around Barbara, hugging her like a small child, sobbing uncontrollably. "I'm so sorry."

"It'll be okay," she whispered.

I looked over at Helena who was giving me a sarcastic look. "I think you should at least let me whip your ass a little bit in the training room."

As I pulled away from Barbara I laughed at her comment, wiping my tears. "You've got it because I deserve it."

"Come on, let's let Helena get some rest," Barbara said as she started wheeling out of the room.

"No, stay," Helena said to me as she grabbed my hand. "I like the company."

Barbara shrugged and went on her way leaving the two of us alone.

THE END


End file.
